Affinity Matters

Beyond Judgment and Perfection: Towards an Evolutionary Understanding of Self and Others

We live in a world where comparison and judgment seem omnipresent. Whether concerning our own accomplishments or those of others, an insidious tendency often pushes us to evaluate, classify, and criticize. Yet, this habit, far from uplifting us, confines us to a limited view of ourselves and our relationships. In reality, the judgment cast upon the apparent imperfection of others is frequently just a detour to avoid confronting our own shadow areas, the famous "beam in our own eye." This essay proposes to explore a different perspective: one where evolution is continuous, where "imperfection" is a natural stage, and where "affinities" guide our interactions more surely than value judgments.

Judgment: A Distorting Mirror of the Self

The mechanism of judgment is deeply rooted in the human psyche, often as a shield or an attempt to reassure oneself of one's own worth. By pointing out the weaknesses, mistakes, or differences in others, we create an illusory distance that temporarily comforts us in our own position. However, this approach is a deception. As the biblical adage suggests, we are quick to see the speck in our neighbor's eye, ignoring the beam that obstructs our own vision. This "beam" represents our own insecurities, our fears, our unexamined conditionings. Dwelling on the imperfections of others is therefore less a sign of clairvoyance than a strategy for avoiding our own inner work. Recognizing this is the first step towards liberation: that from the need to judge in order to exist.

From Imperfection to Affinity: Redefining Our Relationships

From an evolutionary perspective, particularly one that envisions cycles of learning and growth (like the concept of reincarnation for some), each individual is on a journey. As long as this journey is not "completed" – if it ever can be – it will manifest aspects undergoing development, which one might hastily label as "imperfections."

Now, this very term is laden with value judgment and is problematic for several reasons. For example, assuming that at the end of the cycle of reincarnations we reach perfection, it is as if we were saying that evolution stops. Yet, from the perspective of those who have completed it and testified, the indications tend rather to point out that it is only the beginning; that what is called a Master, being a Master of the elements, as the Count Saint-Germain so aptly put it in his work on Holy Trinosophy, is merely a birth to oneself, as if one were finally emerging from the mother's womb, from the matrix. Thus, if the concept of "perfecting" may seem more appropriate, it should not be conceived as a completion but as a path.

Also, when we tend to explain why we don't want to collaborate with someone, we tend to mention their flaws, such as "I don't like this" or that. But the truth is that when we love someone, we tend to forgive their flaws. So, what is really going on? What makes us associate with some and conversely manifest an attitude of rejection towards others?

This is where it becomes more constructive to speak of "affinities." Some souls, through their journeys, their vibrations, or their ongoing learning, find points of resonance, complementarities that lead them to collaborate, to walk together for a time. Others, on the contrary, may present dynamics or frequencies that are less synergistic. It is not then a question of a hierarchy of value where one would be "better" or "more advanced" than the other, but a simple observation of vibrational compatibility or divergent trajectories. Thus, what one perceives as a prohibitive flaw in a person or a reason not to "like" them may simply mean that our evolutionary paths are not destined to intersect intimately at that time. This understanding soothes relationships: it depersonalizes conflicts and opens the way to greater acceptance of differences.

Continuous Evolution: The Infinite Dynamics of Being

And let us recall, as already mentioned, that even more fundamentally, the very idea of "perfection" as a static and final state must be questioned. If we admit that the universe, consciousness, and therefore being, are in constant evolution, then this dynamic does not stop, even at the end of a great learning cycle. Evolution is the very nature of existence. In this framework, seeking a "completed" perfection amounts to denying the inherent movement of life. Each stage is an expression of being at a given moment of its infinite unfolding. What is relevant is not a fixed ideal, but progression, learning, the expansion of consciousness. Being continues to evolve, to explore, to create, and it is this perpetual dance that defines its nature, much more than any fixed state of perfection.

Conclusion: Opening to Shared Growth

Adopting this vision – where judgment gives way to introspection, imperfection to affinity, and perfection to continuous evolution – radically transforms our relationship with the world. This invites us to greater indulgence towards ourselves and others, recognizing that everyone is doing their best with their current awareness and tools. It encourages us to seek resonances rather than point out dissonances, and to embrace change as a fundamental constant of life. Ultimately, it is not about who is the best, but how we can all continue to grow, together or on parallel paths, with respect and understanding for the unique journey of each soul.

Selective Bibliography and Relevant Works:

Ruiz, Don Miguel. (1997). The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. Amber-Allen Publishing.

Tolle, Eckhart. (1997). The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. New World Library.

Rinpoche, Sogyal. (1992). The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. HarperSanFrancisco.

Jung, Carl Gustav. (Frequent reissues, major 20th-century work). Psychology and Alchemy or Modern Man in Search of a Soul.